Personally, I don't know who/what did more damage to Tobias. Growing up without a mother who was supposed to be dead but was alive and abandoned him, having an abusive father who controls his mind and makes him fear his life, or having his girlfriend be lost to the whisper of a never-waking oblivion.
I want to thank you all for your support to my question. I agree as well. It only got worse, but at least Tobias got his mother back. I think if Evelyn had left with the factionless, and never came back, Tobias wouldn't have had anything to really live for again.